Ernie Fivel

Investment Banker, Immortal


Ernie’s Stats:

Immunity to all damage
Immunity to aging

Xipetotec!’s Stats:

Fire control
Leaping (jets of flame)
Teleportation (through flame)


Ernie Fivel.

He is just a moderately successful investment banker at Goldman and Sons. Except he’s also super immortal. Like crazy immortal.

He found this out one day when he accidentally got his tie caught in a blender and by all rights should have lost half his face. He’s still miffed about the loss of that tie, though.

So, top government men found out about Ernie’s abilities, and he got drafted on a secret mission. He was not pleased. But all could have been okay (he had been meaning to use a few vacation days anyway), but the mission to explore some mystical ruins ended badly.

Ernie ended up touching a powerful artifact, the fire sword Xipetotec!. [The ! is part of the name. Deal with it.] This artifact instantly bonded with Ernie and will not break this bond until his death. Which is never.

So, he’s stuck with a mystical sword that talks and keeps accidentally setting things on fire. But even worse, Xipetotec! wants to fight crime. And he can teleport through flames and blast off with jets. And Ernie is stuck literally holding Xipetotec!. He cannot put him down. Ever.

So Ernie Fivel is now a superhero. And he will be until the entropic death of the universe itself.

Ernie Fivel

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